Candies, Conspiracies and Cupcakes For Two
by daisyb10
Summary: House proves to Wilson that red roses aren't the only way to win Cameron's heart. This fluffy House/Cameron romance and House/Wilson frienship fic was written for the Valentine's Day edition of the Saturday Night Writing Challenge at Fox/House.


**A/N:** _Candies, Conspiracies and Cupcakes for Two_ was written for the Saturday Night Writing Challenge at Fox/House.  
All four challenge prompts were incorporated into this story. Enjoy!

1. The "St. Valentine's Day Massacre"  
2. "The Hallmark Holiday"  
3. Cinnamon Candy  
4. A red rose in a trash can

**_Candies, Conspiracies and Cupcakes for Two_**

"Thank you for your report, Dr. Hodkins."

Dr. Lisa Cuddy shook her head resignedly as the applause for the neurologist's lackluster speech dwindled to a close, only to be replaced by the sounds of papers shuffling and briefcases snapping shut in anticipation of her meeting's adjournment.

"Everyone _stay_ in your seats. That includes_ you_, Dr. House."

House glared at Cuddy and reluctantly sat down, but not before grabbing another handful of cinnamon hearts from the rectangular glass vase on the boardroom table.

"Okay, listen up. We have one last item on our agenda," Cuddy began.  
House glanced at his notes. "I thought Hodkins _was_ the last item on our agenda."

"There's been a change of plans. I'd like to introduce … _what the_…? _Ewwwww!"  
_"Two points!" House grinned from ear-to-ear as he watched Cuddy pluck a saliva-drenched candy from her cleavage.

"Grow up, House! And you too, Wilson!"  
The oncologist sunk down in his chair making a futile attempt to stifle his laughter while Cuddy wiped the sticky red residue from between her breasts and continued.

"As I was saying, I'd like to introduce Cindy Palmer, the chair of our _2008 Roses for Research Campaign_.  
Nurse Palmer …"

"Thank you, Dr. Cuddy."  
House's interest piqued at the sight of the shapely blonde.

"Good Morning. At noon today, the _2008 Roses for Research_ _Campaign_ begins. Order desks will be stationed throughout the hospital until February 13th and staffed by our wonderful volunteers and I'm pleased to announce that all proceeds from this fundraiser will go to the PPTH Cardiac Care Research Fund."

"Would you mind passing these out for me, Dr. Wilson? This is a list of our products and prices."

Wilson handed an order sheet to every doctor in the room as Cindy continued.  
"As you can see, our prices are very competitive and we include free Valentine's Day delivery in the Greater Princeton Area with a minimum purchase of a dozen roses. And as an added bonus, all staff purchases, of any size, will be delivered free of charge."

House quickly scanned the sheet. "Fifteen dollars for _one_ rose? You've _got_ to be kidding! Count me out!" he muttered.

"No House, I'm counting you _in!_ I expect all of you," Cuddy's eyes moved from doctor to doctor around the table, "and I do mean _all_,  
to lead by example and give this campaign your complete support. Am I making myself clear?"

"You know, not everyone has a hot new girlfriend he wants to impress, like Wilson over there," House challenged,  
nodding in Wilson's direction.

"Oh we've thought of that too, Dr. House," Cindy piped up. "If you don't have a girlfriend to buy for, you can make a donation instead. For every twenty dollars you contribute, a single rose in a bud vase will be given to one of our hospital's patients, so everyone's a winner! Oh and I should mention, all roses come with asparagus fern and gypsophila."

"Did I say that I _don't_ have a girlfriend? I was speaking hypothetically. And what the hell's Gypsophila?"  
House scowled at Cindy from across the table.

"Baby's Breath," Wilson answered.  
"It figures _you'd_ know that," grumped House.

"Thank you, Nurse Palmer. Doctors, that concludes our meeting. And don't forget, I'll be checking on you and your staff," Cuddy warned.

As the meeting dispersed, House limped towards door with Wilson.  
"Thanks for getting me in trouble with Cuddy."  
"Anytime Wilson, I'm glad to help," House smirked. "Wait, I forgot something."

House slipped back to his seat, but returned shortly.  
"What did you forget?" Wilson asked suspiciously.  
"Nothing. It was my imagination. Boy, Cuddy sure means business with this rose thing."

Wilson opened the door and followed House down the corridor. "You've got to admit, it's a great idea.  
What moron doesn't buy at least one rose on Valentine's Day?"

"This one, that's who!" House snarled and pushed the down button on the elevator panel.

"Not even for your mother?"  
"Not even for my mother."

oOoOo

"So what do you want to eat today?"  
Wilson picked up two trays from the stack at the entrance to the hospital cafeteria.

"Why do you even bother to ask? You know what I want … duh …"  
House followed behind his friend, peering over Wilson's shoulder to peruse the day's offerings.  
"Oooo … but get a couple of those cupcakes for us too, they look good!"

"Vanilla or chocolate?"  
"Vanilla. You pay and I'll grab a table for us. And don't forget your bag of chips."

"You mean _your _bag of chips, don't you House?"  
Wilson cursed under his breath as he watched House amble towards the other side of the room.  
"If he wants a bag of chips, why doesn't he just say so? Does stealing mine make them taste better?  
Maybe if I buy two bags, he'll take the hint."

"What was that, Dr. Wilson?" the cashier asked.  
"Oh nothing, Audrey. Just talking to myself."  
Audrey laughed. "Well as long as you don't answer, you'll be okay. Your total's $14.85."

Wilson wove his way through the cafeteria to the table House selected.  
It was the perfect vantage point to engage in his favourite noontime activity – people watching.

House took a bite of his Reuben, then motioned over to the far wall with a tilt of his chin.  
"Wilson, Look! Look over there! It's the Wombat and Thirteen. I don't believe it! He's holding her hand!"

Wilson chuckled quietly as he crumbled some Saltines into his soup.  
"You're slipping House, that's old news. Cameron and Chase split up weeks ago. Remember?"

"_Do you honestly think I forgot?"_ House stared at the couple through squinty eyes.  
"I'm just _observing_ that it didn't take the Wombat long to move on to greener pastures. He's an idiot!"

"You're right, he is. Thirteen's no Cameron. Are you going to ask her out?"  
"Thirteen?" House screwed up his face at Wilson's outrageous question."Of course not."

Wilson sighed loudly. "I meant Cameron, you old fool. You _know_ you love her – you've _always _loved her. Now's your chance."

"I'm thinking about it," House changed the subject as soon as he realized his slip.  
"I see Cindy's set up already. Look at all those suckers lining up to buy roses. I'll bet most of them end up in the garbage.  
After all, who wants a rose from some psycho secret admirer?"

"Ah yes …a red rose in a trash can. How romantic!" Wilson voiced dripped with sarcasm.  
"Why don't you buy some for Cameron?"  
"No way! I've never bought roses on Valentine's Day and Cindy can't make me."

Wilson glanced over his shoulder at the crowd milling around her table.  
"What is it with you and Valentine's Day? And it's Cuddy you have to worry about, not Cindy. Give the girl a break.  
She's doing a great job!"

"Yea, she is," House admitted. "She's come a long way from her days as a student nurse.  
Remember what a big crush she had on me? Hell, she probably still does."

"Modest as ever I see," Wilson quipped. "And I _do_ remember. But don't try and change the subject.  
Why don't you like Valentine's Day?"

"Because."  
"Because, why?"

"Because it's … it's … it's a Hallmark Holiday."  
"A what?" Wilson shook his head, trying to follow House's train of thought.

"A Hallmark Holiday. It's a corporate conspiracy designed to lure men into spending a fortune on syrupy cards, overpriced roses, huge boxes of chocolates and expensive lingerie by deluding them into thinking that their efforts will be rewarded with a tasty bon-bon at the end of the night – and I _don't _mean a chocolate truffle," House snorted.  
"They're all out to make money … even sweet little Cindy over there."

"That's a pretty cynical attitude … and Cindy's doing it for a good cause."

"You've obviously fallen for this crap – hook, line and sinker! So tell me something … have you ever hit a home run on Valentine's Day?"  
House studied his friend's face looking for a truthful answer.

"I …I …think so … I honestly don't remember," stuttered Wilson.

"Ha! I knew it!"  
"Knew what?"

"The hype. It doesn't work!" House shouted gleefully. "You've _never_ got laid on Valentine's Day!"  
"House, keep your voice down," Wilson pleaded turning a deep shade of red.

"And why do roses always cost twice as much on Valentine's Day as they do the rest of the year?"  
"Supply and demand?"

"That's bullshit! They're taking us to the cleaners!" House finished his chips, then reached for seconds.  
"House, those are _my_ chips!" Wilson protested. "You've already had one bag!"

"I'm hungry, do you mind?" He munched away happily while resuming his surveillance.

oOoOo

"Hmmm …" muttered House.  
"Hmmm?" asked Wilson.

"Cameron."  
"Cameron?"

"She's coming towards us. She's alone, see …" House reached for a cupcake.  
"For heaven's sake House, don't sit there like a bump on a log …invite her to join us!" Wilson hissed.

"Nah. She probably wants to be alone."  
"Is that another one of your cockamamie theories?"

Wilson stood and waved to Cameron. "Cameron, over here … come join us," he said graciously, seating her opposite House.

"Thanks for rescuing me from a lonesome lunch, Wilson," Cameron smiled.  
"I'm just getting off work, but I thought I'd get a bite before I headed home. How are you, House?"

"Good. Wilson and I managed to survive another one of Cuddy's ass-numbingly boring meetings. See, what did I tell you, Wilson?" House said smiling softly at Cameron. "Wilson thought that you wanted to eat alone, but I told him he was wrong."

Wilson shook his head exasperatedly as he glared at House with one raised eyebrow.  
Cameron unrolled her utensils and took a bite of her salad. "Well, normally I wouldn't mind, but I'd rather be with friends today.

"Tough night in the ER?" Wilson asked.  
"The worst. Two biker gangs went head to head."  
"Drugs?"  
"That's what the police think. There were seven fatalities."

"Sounds like another St. Valentine's Day Massacre," commented House. "If only they'd had the sense to wait a few days."  
"The St. Valentine's Day Massacre?" Cameron asked.

"Yeah. Chicago, February 14th, 1929. Seven people died of gunshot wounds when Al Capone's _South Side Gang_ tried to take out Bugsy Moran and his _North Side Gang_ for a bigger cut of the bootleg booze trade, among other things. I know you're going to say it's none of my business,  
but I don't like you working the nightshift in ER. It's dangerous. Come back to Diagnostics and work with me,"  
House said seriously, looking at her intently over the rim off his coffee cup.

Cameron's heart skipped a beat but she managed to return his gaze solemnly.  
"It's my job, House. I have to be there. Besides, I didn't think there was a place for me anymore on your team."

"Not true. I need you."

"Ahem." Wilson stirred uncomfortably, utterly fascinated, yet embarrassed to have heard House's revelation.  
"If you two would like some privacy …"

Cameron stiffened, realizing how intimate their conversation had become.  
"No Wilson, please stay. We shouldn't have let things get so serious. I'll be fine, House, but thank you for caring."

"That's a good-looking cupcake you've got ..." she remarked, trying to lighten the mood.  
"I'd forgotten what a sweet tooth your have," House grinned. "Would you like one?"

Cameron looked at the one remaining cupcake on the tray. "No, I couldn't House, that's Wilson's cupcake."  
"No it's not … they're both mine. Wilson didn't feel like one, did you Wilson?"

Wilson grimaced with pain as House's cane met his shin.  
"Uh no, not today. You go ahead Cameron," he replied, backing up House's lie.

Cameron giggled, knowing House's tactics all too well.  
"Well, okay, if you're sure …" Wilson nodded. "I'd love one."

House's eyes sparkled mischievously as he reached into his pocket. "Great. But you'll have to wait."

"House, what on earth have you got in there?" Wilson eyed the latex glove in House's hand.  
It was stuffed to the brim with a pebbly substance. "Oh no …you didn't?"

"_I did_. I snitched them on the way out of Cuddy's meeting. Cameron, close your eyes for sec … you too Wilson!"

In less than a minute his creations were complete. "Voila! Cameron, Wilson, you can open your eyes!"

House's cupcake was smothered with a handful of candies thrown haphazardly on top of the icing.  
"Well, your decorating is certainly exuberant," Wilson remarked before turning to look at his gift for Cameron.

The snowy white frosting was adorned with two meticulously interlocked hearts made from a chain of cinnamon candies nestled perfectly atop their sugary pillow.

"House … it's beautiful …" Cameron whispered. "Two hearts …"  
"Two hearts …" murmured House.

House searched Cameron's eyes hoping for any sign he would not remember this impulsive gesture as the biggest romantic blunder of his sorry life.

But then she smiled.

He leaned across the table and caressed her cheek lovingly with his softly curved hand.  
Cameron trembled as his fingers brushed lightly over her parted lips and wrapped beneath her chin, slowly drawing her to him.  
Their kiss unleashed his emotions without reservation or fear.

Hand in hand, they rose to their feet, oblivious to the stares their affection had garnered.

"Shall we take our cupcakes with us?" House asked, thinking lascivious thoughts about frosting and candies.  
Cameron blushed as though she could read his mind.

"Wilson, I'm going to drive Cameron home now. She needs her rest. Will you …?" House asked, never taking his eyes off his love.

"I'll … I'll take care of everything … you go …"

"Thanks … and here …" House handed the cinnamon hearts to Wilson.

"You know what to do."

**_The End_**


End file.
